Falling Forward

What amazes me about spring is that regardless of how brutally hard the winter has been, without exception, the leaves bud, the flowers bloom, the grass turns green and even the weeds (unfortunately) sprout. Winter cannot and does not prevent spring from falling forward!

I’m left with the question then, where do they (the trees, the grass, and the flowers) all get their strength from?

Of course the answer is that within nature itself is a hidden strength that sometimes becomes invisible due to circumstances, but without fail overcomes all the challenges of winter and eventually springs forward, demonstrating to all of creation that nothing, not even the harshest winter, can hide it or prevent it from rising again. It’s an amazing lesson for us all.

Have you ever asked the same question about life?

I know of so many people, that regardless of their difficulties, who are able to “fall forward”. Falling forward simply means that, as was written by some wise individual, “It’s not how many times you fall down but rather how many times you get up that matter”. So for some, the challenges of life may cause them to fall but regardless they are able to summon the strength to get back up and go forward. And there are some who do it over and over again.

Where do such people get their strength from?

Strength to overcome life’s challenges may come from several sources.

1. Strength cultured over time from life’s experiences.
2. Strength through the example provided by others.
3. Strength from a genetic advantage (mental, intellectual, emotional).
4. Strength from our learning in books and stories we read.
5. Strength provided by our family.
6. Strength from our practice of meditation and prayer.
7. Strength given by our network of friends.
8. And sometimes, just an “unknown strength” we did not know we had.

Several years ago I was involved in a restructuring of one of my businesses with the Smith Group of Companies. We were close to bankruptcy and I was close to burnout. For many years (after I had been appointed President), I was part of a CEO peer group. Upon my first appointment as President in my late thirties, I believed it was necessary to create an advisory relationship with other CEOs to help me in developing my judgment and decision making as I assumed greater roles and responsibilities. I remember attending one of my CEO sessions, and going into it, I was weary and worn from dealing with such debilitating business issues. I was expecting some pity, sympathy and TLC from my “likeminded CEOs”. What I got instead was a strong rebuke and increased pressure to stay focused on the job at hand. I left that meeting somewhat disappointed and for a while discouraged. Later I spoke with one of my “CEO Buddies”, Sab Ravalli, and he explained it this way.

Sab said it would not have been helpful if all they did was express sympathy and took some pity on the struggles in front of me. Rather, the best support they could provide me given the situation was to help me stay focused, to ensure I was thinking properly, and my judgment and decisions were sound. He explained the difference between “good time friends” and “real friends”. Real friends give, good time friends take. It was easy for me to criticize what they had done since I was not able to see and understand at first the actual support and strength they were providing.

I have never forgotten that lesson from Sab. I have several friends in my personal and professional networks who have helped me stay on the straight and narrow. In times of discouragement, confusion, weakness and vulnerability, the strength that I needed was given by those friends. And of course it would be wrong for me not to say that my wife Linda has been such a great source of strength in my life, more than I ever deserved.

There is an advantage that LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, etc.  provides. As business and social networking sites, it allows me (us) to list and identify all the friends in our network. At any one time I/we can draw on those in our network or we can make ourselves available to those who need real help. I have a site on LinkedIn that has identified hundreds in my professional network. I also have a business Facebook site that identifies some (“a few”) real friends in business. And I have a family Facebook site that gathers all of my immediate family together. If anything, it has shown me that in my network, I can draw on many for strength. It is a great feeling and provides much reassurance since though the joy of spring and summer is upon us, winter will undoubtedly come again.

The challenging part is that much time is required in cultivating good friends and there is a danger that social networking sites cause us to neglect that. Just as a good harvest requires much planting, fertilizing, weeding and cultivating, so does the development of our professional and personal networks or relationships. Remember that technology is intended to be an enabler, not a replacement!

Nature does have a lot of inner strength. But it is amazing what results from a healthy relationship between nature and humans. My garden will grow for awhile unattended, but with my full involvement it will flourish.

The ability to fall forward is very much then dependent on the total sum of your channels of strength. Those who have fallen and get back up quickly and even stronger seemed to have understood that.

The Benefits of Failure

A friend of mine was telling me the story of being in a Chinese restaurant and upon receiving his fortune cookie and opening it, he was taken back by the wisdom written in so few words on a tiny bit of white paper. It said: “It is better to pursue a great vision and fail then have no expectations and succeed.”

If certain people hadn’t experienced failure in their lives, we today may not be enjoying the benefits of their failures. There are great stories of those whose lives were stamped with the mark of failure only to have become some the world’s foremost leaders in various elements of life. 

Tom Hendry from Cutting Edge Innovations is quoted as saying: 

“Well, I believe that every human being was born to achieve. Yet many times I have met people who believed that they were talentless, unintelligent or that their lives were ruined by adversity and ultimately failure."

"Failure is inevitable to every one of us, whether it be personal, in relationships or in business. Everyone fails at something. No one is perfect. It is also failure that will drag us kicking and screaming out of our comfort zones. It will take us on a journey deep within ourselves and that is where we will find our strengths. This is where we find the Benefits of Failure. It is also where we will find our greatness."

A good example of the above is the life of famed Harry Potter author J. K. Rowling. 

Rowling’s life is defined from being on government benefit with a young baby to amassing £500 million in 2009 (not that money is the ultimate definition of success but rather simply one measure). All because she didn’t give up when publishers initially rejected her book “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone”. Consider the following about her life.

• Her parents were impoverished.
• She left a bad marriage with a young baby in the mid nineties.
• She lived in a small flat in Edinburgh, Scotland.
• She was living on government benefit £78 per week.
• The benefits of her 'failure' gave her the ‘freedom and drive’ to achieve through her writing.
• She wrote first book “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone,” but it was rejected by most publishers.
• Determination, resilience and persistence kept her going. Her book(s) were eventually published by Bloomsbury Publishing.
• She gives back a great deal to charity, especially single parent charities.

In 2008 Rowling delivered an inspirational address to the graduates of Harvard. This is an edited excerpt of the first half of that address.

The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination

On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. 

Looking back at the 21-year-old that I was at graduation is a slightly uncomfortable experience for the 42-year-old that she has become. What I feared most for myself at your age was failure.

The fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure. You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person’s idea of success, so high have you already flown.

Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. 

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned.

So given a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone’s total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.

Relationships

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"We improve our relationships not by changing others but by changing how we are in relation to others."

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How often have you heard the words “trust me” only to be extremely disappointed when your acceptance of someone’s trust has hurt you deeply? We all can cite an example, some more extreme than others. When we lose someone’s trust it becomes very difficult to regain that trust. When your trust has been betrayed, it is difficult to trust that person again or even to trust in general. A Peanut’s cartoon called “Can I Trust You” makes the point very well. 

Certainly trust and its attributes have also been the focus of many songs and certainly have ensured that the Country and Western music industry survives very well. Bob Dylan (I don’t believe he is a Country-Western song writer) wrote an interesting song titled “Trust Yourself.” An excerpt from his song says:
 

Trust yourself to do the things that only you know best. 

Trust yourself, 

Trust yourself to do what’s right and not be second-guessed. 

Don’t trust me to show you beauty 

When beauty may only turn to rust

If you need somebody you can trust, trust yourself.

When listening to his song I thought, how unfortunate if life has fallen to the point where the only people we can trust is ourselves.

During my consulting days, I was asked regularly to meet with management groups and explore trust. I delivered a seminar called “The Trust Factor.” Roger Allen, Ph.D., the author of the course, always asked us to start the seminar with this statement:

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"We can build our relationships on fear, obligation or trust. However, only a foundation of trust results in the collaboration and good will necessary to achieve our peak performance."

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Dr. Allen compiled the “Ten Principles of Trust” and they are as follows:

THE TEN PRINCIPLES OF TRUST

Trust is not blind.

Trust requires boundaries.

Trust requires constant learning.

Trust is tough.

Trust needs bonding.

Trust means letting go of fear.

Trust HAS to be earned.

Trust is an intangible asset.

There are two kinds of trust: 1) benevolent; 2) competent.

Trust affects the bottom line.

It’s the last principle, from a corporate perspective that caught my attention. How does trust or how can the lack of trust affect the bottom line? In my studies, two strong negative reasons driving organizations throughout the world to focus on their corporate identities, brands, reputations and trust were cited as:
 

1. The decline in general levels of trust and consumer confidence following highly publicized cases of questionable corporate governance and questionable ethics.
2. Problems associated with inferior and dangerous lines of business products and services. More positively however, organizations see strong corporate brands, identities and reputations as significant intangible assets, sometimes worth up to twice the book value of their tangible assets. The world’s best known brand, Coca Cola, has been estimated to be worth close to $100 billion.

The critical point for us to understand is that a corporate brand, identity, and reputation is largely created through the unscripted and discretionary actions, attitudes and behaviours of employees which lead customers, investors and the public at large to infer favourable or unfavourable impressions of the company. These impressions will drive success or failure.

How do we as managers and/or leaders create a negative trust factor? Here are but a few examples:

• We don’t model what we say.
• We make promises we can’t keep.
• We tend to avoid dealing with conflict.
• We guard and selectively disclose information.
• We don’t allow employees to exercise their own judgment.
• We ask for input and suggestions but ignore them.
• We monitor everything.
• We give information to employees but don’t include them.
• We encourage unhealthy competition.
• We don’t meet expectations.

There are a few facts that we must not forget about corporate life: 1) the work of an organization is accomplished through people; 2) people are interdependent; 3) interdependence requires collaboration; and finally 4) collaboration is built on a foundation of trust.

So how do we define trust to ensure it becomes the foundation of our organizations and exemplified through our people? Trust is defined as “the confidence we have in our relationships with others.” Trust invokes several attributes: it invokes a character based on integrity (we act from a guiding set of principles); it invokes a competency (we are capable of fulfilling our roles and responsibilities); it invokes compassion (we care about the needs of others); and it invokes consistency in our behaviours (our performance is predictable). 

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"The ability to form good relationships, to make people believe in you and trust you is one of the few absolutely fundamental qualities of success!"

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Each year I have a 360 degree Multiple Rater Feedback assessment performed on my leadership, which collects the opinions of many colleagues within and outside CMA Ontario. Of the 18 competencies that are assessed, “Building Personal Relationships” is one. It becomes a good reminder to me of how important the trust factor is if I am truly to be a good leader and to maximize the potential of our organization through the performance of its people. 

What then is my responsibility in this regard? It includes the following:

• Trust begins with my personal commitment to respect others, to take everyone seriously;
• Trust grows when people see me translate their personal integrity into organizational fidelity;
• The moral purpose of our organization and of my personal commitments is the soil in which trust can take root and grow;
• Trust is built upon kept promises (to be chosen means to be entrusted);
• Trust in organizations depends on the reasonable assumption by followers that I can be depended on to do the right thing;
• The building of trust in organizations requires me to hold the group accountable;
• For trust to be maintained over time, I must demonstrate competence in my job - just like everyone else.

As a CMA, how would you assess yourself? My 360 score always reminds me that I’m not perfect and there is room for improvement, but I’m getting there.

Knowledge versus Wisdom

They say that you can get and take a pill for just about anything. And it seems our advanced society has figured out how to package even basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kinds of knowledge pills are available. 

The pharmacist says: "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature.

"What else do you have?" asks the student. 

"Well I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects.

Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?" 

The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back to the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plonks it on the counter. "I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student. 

The pharmacist replies, "Well you know math always was a little hard to swallow." 

As CMAs, we have acquired the academic elements of accounting, management and strategy and understand how they inter-relate to optimize performance in organizations. 

While our CMA designation is a great accomplishment, it is only one input into becoming a leader. Let’s consider another leadership essential - wisdom. 

Allow me to tell you a story about a great leader from many years ago. His name was Solomon. When Solomon was made a king, at a very young age, he prayed for the following: “Give me now wisdom that I may go out and come in before this people: for who can judge these people that is so great?” 

WISDOM 

The story is told then that two new mothers approached King Solomon, bringing with them a single baby boy. Each mother presents the same story, as she and the other woman live together: 

One night, soon after the birth of their respective children, the other woman woke to find that she had smothered her own baby in her sleep. In anguish and jealousy, she took her dead son and exchanged it with the other's child. The following morning, the woman discovered the dead baby, and soon realized that it was not her own son, but the other woman's. 

After some deliberation, King Solomon calls for a sword to be brought before him. He declares that there is only one fair solution: the live son must be split in two, each woman receiving half of the child. Upon hearing this terrible verdict, the boy's true mother cries out, "Please, my King, give her the live child - do not kill him!" However, the liar, in her bitter jealousy, exclaims, "It shall be neither mine nor yours - divide it!" Solomon instantly gives the baby to the real mother, realizing that the true mother's instincts were to protect her child, while the liar revealed that she did not truly love the child. 

Solomon by his wisdom discerned who the real mother was and protected and safeguarded the child. 

We are told that since Solomon asked for wisdom and not fame and fortune, he was given the latter as well so that he became wealthier than one could imagine and famous among country leaders for his leadership (characterized by his wisdom). 

Wikipedia describes wisdom as: The judicious and purposeful application of knowledge that is valued in society. Webster's New World Dictionary defines wisdom in the following way: The power of judging rightly and following the soundest course of action, based on knowledge, experience and understanding. 

We meet people every day who have obtained multiple degrees and multiple designations and who boast about their education. How often though do we find that those with this superior education lack the ability to apply it properly and as a result, would never be considered wise. In contrast, we have met many with limited education, but because of their insight and experience (a form of knowledge) have proven to be wise in their counsel. 

OUR CHOICE 

After we receive a degree and/or a designation like the CMA, the world looks on us differently. But how they see us is our choice. We can choose to be one who simply has a lot of knowledge or we can choose to be one who is valued in society for our purposeful application and use of knowledge: that is called wisdom. 

A Chinese saying goes as follows: Teachers open the door - you enter by your self. 

WISDOM OF GANDHI 

On a trip to India I had a chance to visit a memorial to Gandhi, one of the world’s great leaders. I was struck by his wise teachings and counsel. His words of wisdom to all of us are striking. 

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems.” 

With that he wrote Ten Life Changing Principles. Consider these five. 

1. Change yourself.
“You must be the change you want to see in the world.” 

2. Forgive and let it go.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” 

3. Without action you aren’t going anywhere.
“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.” 

4. Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self.
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” 

5. Continue to grow and evolve (go through the door of opportunity).
”Constant development is the law of life, and a man/woman who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.” 

And he had other sayings as well: 

You are in control.
“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” 

Take care of this moment.
“I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.” 

Everyone is human.
“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.” 

Persist.
“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” 

See the good in people and help them.
“I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.” 

I am not and will never be impressed by anyone who holds out their degrees and designations as a comparator of self worth, ability, influence or expertise on a particular matter. What does impress me are those that have obtained knowledge, and through experience have learned how that knowledge can be used properly for good, then obtains understanding and becomes wise in counsel and advice to others whether in a professional or personal setting. 

How would we assess ourselves? A person of knowledge or a person of wisdom?