OUR ROD OF FAITH

When I decided to exit my last CEO position my then Director of Finance, Oscar, presented me with a “walking stick”. He had it carved with a message “Mentor and Leader”. Of all the gifts I have ever received this is one that has made quite an impact. The message given was about the support and trust I provided as a leader to him and others in the organization. They had faith in me. As I look at it, this rod, this staff, standing there in the doorway of my cottage sunroom, it makes me consider this:

Psalms 23:1-4 New International Version

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear nothing, for You are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

In historical times, a shepherd consistently used both a rod and/or a staff to tend his flock of sheep.  Both a rod and/or staff were used to protect and care for the sheep, each in a very specific way. The sheep knew they were cared for just by a gentle touch of the shepherd’s staff.

From a very young age my mom taught me about faith. She quoted a simple verse from the Holy Scriptures: “Prayer changes things!”. Prayer demands one believes in someone of a higher order who has control over all things. That would be my understanding of God. God the omnipotent; God the omniscient; God the omnipresent. Many times, I have prayed to God asking for God’s intervention into my life’s events. Many times, God has and many times God has not intervened. Only two of these many events were what I consider life threatening but fortunately were not fatal. Certainly, the outcome of many others would be life altering to various degrees, but through it all I would survive regardless of God’s will, or God’s decision not to change their course.

But now it is different. Cancer had arrived several years ago and taken residence in my body. With the care of doctors, the cancer was driven underground and into remission. No one could say, I was cured. I believed my status to be an answer to a faith-based prayer. After several years of nothing, the cancer returned, though minimally. Had cancer won? Had my faith lost?

My oncologist has recommended I be placed in a clinical trial to receive a new approach (a second chance) for radiation treatment with hopes of reducing or eliminating the two tumours identified in the PET scan. If successful, a few more years gained but if not, the only recourse is hormone therapy. It is then the cancer driven mortality clock starts ticking.

I had thought because of previous prayers and positive outcomes, faith had prevailed. Now I am asking “how did my faith fail with this additional challenge?”

Faith demands I not only believe in God but trust in God and surrender my life to God’s will. In this situation, what might be God’s will? There were only three faith options for me to consider:

1.      God will directly heal and destroy the cancerous tumours.

2.      God by infusing the oncology team with special knowledge, experience, skill and use of advanced technology, provides a suitable defence.

3.      God does nothing and causes me to move on to another life, the after-earth life.

With each of these potential outcomes, God is in control. God will decide. My faith says to trust God. He becomes my rod and staff to comfort me during this time of fear, an unknown future.

I then realize faith is not about achieving a specific and personally satisfying outcome. It is rather, accepting God’s destiny for my life. Faith is believing God is sovereign.

There is no doubt I would prefer option one or two simply because for all its uncertainly, I do enjoy life. But if option three prevails, I must accept that as well. But can I change the outcome and prevent option three from occurring because of a faith that just might convince God to act in a certain way, to my benefit?

Prayer changes things. My life experiences have convinced me of that. I have several stories to tell of events that happened which could only be from God’s intervention. Ok then, I will say a prayer based on my faith in God. The Holy Scriptures says I only need the faith of a mustard seed to influence the outcome. I have more faith that a mustard seed. I have no doubt God is able. But is God willing?

What words do I need to say to convince God to heal me? What actions must I take? What promises must I make? What wrongs do I need to correct? What new purpose must I accept for life’s second chance? It is said “faith without works is dead.” I realize then if God is to grant me that life extension I am asking for, I must be willing to spend any gifted years fulling God’s new purpose for my life. Included then in my prayer for healing is the acknowledgement I will be ready and willing to accept a new assignment, a new focus, a new purpose as God defines and decides, for which I will dedicate all my talents, time, and thoughts to completing. I am good with that.

If then healing is not granted, I recognize and accept my life’s purpose has been fulfilled. The time left will be used to bless those I can as I prepare for a new life, somewhere, different, but God ordained. For me then, faith will have never failed. Faith allowed me to trust and accept life’s journey based on a God ordained purpose.

Faith is not simply hoping and believing for a desired outcome. Faith is accepting the sovereign will of God. God chooses. I accept. But I will never surrender hope.

We must have faith in that one thing that is everything. God’s sovereign will.

 Merv

 PS: I just received the latest tests results post radiation treatment. The Doc says (in his words) “I am very happy with the results”. Nice!